January 2010
260 posts
7 tags
The Charles Dickens quote is a nice touch.
This ninjas for you - m4w - 23 (casselberry)
Date: 2009-12-28, 10:41PM EST Reply To This Post
Yeah, thats right, im a REAL ninja. And I know what your thinking, and yes, Ive kicked steven seagal’s ass, twice. I speak 4 languages, and can kick your ass no matter what language you speak. If roundhouse kicks were a vegetable, id be broccoli, or a giraffe! I think you get my point. Im the real...
10 tags
Oh...My...God.
Straight men: Here is something different we can try - 38 (Orlando)
Date: 2009-12-30, 8:38AM EST Reply To This Post
Not sure where exactly to post this since it doesn’t require pussy for meet. Did this sort of thing with a buddy who was also married out in California when I lived there, but since moved away; we used to play this game with a porno magazine as one of us would jack off it and...
4 tags
4 tags
In Poverbs 31 Style.
If you consume adult Beverages tonight. Take a Tastykake break before - m4w (Northern Belle)
Date: 2009-12-31, 6:18PM EST Reply To This Post
Hello Bellle Wishing you the best of the last of 2009 as you have quite a job to do For 2010 I pray that you get it all this year… In Proverbs 31 Style! Agapetically Yours Big
2 tags
Sure, do you need 90 degrees? 45?
can some one be my angle (orlando)
Date: 2009-12-19, 1:19PM EST Reply to: XXXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
its getting closer and closer i dont no what else to do i need some gifts for my three children if you can help call ——— or ———- soon its all most here thank you nicole
5 tags
No Experience Necessary!
Jessica Simpson tribute band forming (we need you!)
Date: 2009-12-29, 10:44PM EST Reply to: XXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
Jessica Simpson tribute band forming, we have major label interest and are on the cusp of something huge. If you have the drive and determination to succeed, this band is for you. All the pieces are in place and we are ready to hit it big, all we need are drums, bass,...
4 tags
I want to know what kind of batteries they are...
In a well, need a Ladder (Everglades)
Date: 2009-12-31, 2:00PM EST Reply to: comm-gx9ev-1532003885@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
I’m offering a reward for the first person who shows up with at least a 25 foot ladder to the well off of rt. 74 and Sugarsbridge Rd. My friends won’t come because they think i’m joking. I’m definitely NOT… I have water but...
December 2009
118 posts
2 tags
I really can't top this guy's craigslist title
keepitcominglove:
yo no crazy bitches plz - 25
was up girls im lookin 4 sumbody 2 hangout with talk 2 maby become more than friends but what i dont want is those fake replys trying to sell me porn lol i want to meet a girl who is down to earth n funny n likes 2 do things not just b in the house allday not that thats a prob but i like to go out on weekends n do shit u know so let me tell...
7 tags
I Don't Want My Wife Finding Out.
$100 Rent 4 You,Benefits For Me - 28 (East Naples)
Date: 2009-12-29, 4:37PM EST Reply To This Post
Title says it all, I am a 28 married white man, I have 2/2 apt I use the spare as an office now, I am offering to rent this room with private bath for only $100 a mo, Everything included, Water,Lights,Cable,High Speed Internet, All i want in return is good sex when my wife ,is at work, this would...
2 tags
5 tags
JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!
I want the Mother of my ex - m4w - 20 (wilm)
Date: 2009-12-09, 8:06PM EST Reply To This Post
This is probably a long shot, but worth a try… Your Daughter and I are no longer a part of eachother’s lives, but i would love to have a secret relationship with you. No one has to know. You have my number or at least i think you still do. I dont think you are getting sex at home, but i...
3 tags
THANKS FOR THE LOVELY POETRY VOL.6
Adventures in Craigslist [Title under review] - m4w - 40 (Wilmington)
Date: 2009-12-09, 1:33PM EST Reply To This Post
MWM 4 M?F I do not like fake profiles and their spam I do not like them… yet you ARE sexy ma’am I do not like them but find them here and there Just look, I find them just about anywhere Yes sadly craigslist has them too What is a poor honest guy to do? I see...
6 tags
Nice Guys Finish Last
looking for jo bud for winter session - 21 (newark ud )
Date: 2009-12-22, 3:00AM EST Reply To This Post
looking for a chill down to earth guy to jo with this winter session. i am an average guy, extra pounds but i hold them well. I am not looking for models, just another average guy to beat the meat with every now and then once winter session starts and I am back on campus. hit me up with pics...
4 tags
There was a picture with this that I am just NOT...
Link to the original ad, if you’re curious.
I want to Buy your Dirty Panties - m4w - 45 (crd)
Date: 2009-12-29, 1:54PM PST Reply To This Post
you must be attractive, sexy and between the ages of 18 and 35 wear the panties for 2 days….and masturbate in them i want them all cummy and skanky will pay $30 per pair
7 tags
5 tags
My Kind of Guy
burning in hell - 30 (east vancouver)
Date: 2009-12-29, 2:54PM PST Reply To This Post
Handsome, charismatic weirdo, seeking the vampire girl who’ll make my life stranger than it already is. Please be between 20-40 and psychotic, so I don’t ruin some nice girl’s life. 420/confident/well-read
Location: east vancouver
8 tags
Is this some crazy Barbarella shit?
Swerdlow & Celibate - 30 (ABQ)
Date: 2009-12-13, 2:01PM MST Reply To This Post
I’m NOT the kind of celibate that fears damnation for encounters out of wedlock. I’m the kind of celibate that reads Swerdlow. If you’ve read “The True Reality of Sexuality” we might be meant for each other. My life’s experiences have been beyond the realm of the bizarre. My...
6 tags
She's a KEEPER!
honestly… - 26 (albuquerque)
Date: 2009-12-23, 11:36PM MST Reply To This Post
I’m not that fun sometimes. I like a certain level of drama. I can’t stand it when guys want me so much more than I want them. I can’t stand it when I want a guy so much more than he wants me, but I choose to want, because I don’t understand being wanted. Somehow, it feels false and wrong....
6 tags
Walmart is many things, but extorionist?
Walmart is an extorionist!!! (Tried to Steal)
Date: 2009-12-29, 11:50PM MST Reply to: see below
I tried to walk out of walmart without paying for a $2 energy drink and they stopped me (attempted kidnapping). Now I have to pay for a bail bondsman (extortion).
Location: Tried to Steal
5 tags
Keep Juggalos OUT of our LIBRARIES!!!
Filthy clown face juggalos invade County Library (Cut the Library’s Budget)
Date: 2009-12-28, 5:31PM PST Reply To This Post
They let these clown face makeup wearing freaks in the Library? I guess they fit right in with the other perverts and child molesters. The impotent library security stand around like they are going to wet themselves. They should just let the tent city freaks sleep...
9 tags
anyways have a good one, ya'all
warning!!!! - w4m - 40 (fresno area)
Date: 2009-12-29, 11:07AM PST Reply To This Post
there is a 40 years old out there that got an ad that basically has an ass shot of her. she says it a hot mama for a young stud. bascially u dont get to fuck her straight up. u have to do shit for her like to go fuck a guy and suck a guy cock and let him fuck you and suck your cock. so it kinda of a trap...
8 tags
Someone cut this guy's balls off. STAT.
Any Ladies Want Pregnant? - 29 (Fresno)
Date: 2009-12-25, 4:09PM PST Reply To This Post
I am a very attractive married discreet guy in fresno. I was wondering if there are any women that would want to get pregnant. My wife doesn’t want anymore kids, but I would like to help a deserving woman out that would want one. Is that you? Age and race do not matter. I am very discreet. Please send...
4 tags
LOOKATTHISFUCKINGPENIS - m4w - 20
need a woman’s opinion and help - m4w - 20 (fresno)
Date: 2009-12-12, 8:37PM PST Reply To This Post
this girl i was seeing gave me some bad reviews about my.. tools down there.. she called it small and ugly.. and i was just wondering if there were any women out there who might wanna help me out and come give an opinion of the tools.. please be serious… thank you… when you reply...
4 tags
Dude must be SWIMMIN' in WIMMIN
Bitches come out to Jimbo - 24 (Clovis )
Date: 2009-12-24, 6:15PM PST Reply To This Post
And join us for a shit kicking contest and watch some of go hoggin for u fatties … Bring more women out We are tired of the cockfest known as clovis
Location: Clovis
7 tags
Dear Crazy Far Right Wingers: Spelling and Grammar...
A CALL TWO ARMS
Date: 2009-12-21, 2:25PM PST Reply to: XXXXXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
01/01/201 0 CONSERTATIVES GO TWO JAIL STAND UP REFUZE TWO PAY FOR OBAMACARE THIS IS A CONSERTATIVE CALL!! 01/01/2010 INDENDATE JAILS FLOOD THEM WITH CONSERTATIVES REFUZING TWO PAY FOR OBAMACARE
4 tags
Oh Spelling, You Provide Endless Amounts of Snark:...
FIRST PART: ORIGINAL POST -
piano player for the holidays (clovis/fresno)
Date: 2009-12-15, 2:51PM PST Reply to: XXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
BANQUETS WEDDINGS PARTYS CONFFRENCE FUNIRALS CHURCH ETC…………………BOOK A SCHUELE 5———— Location: clovis/fresno
SECOND PART: THE RESPONSE -
re:Piano player
Date: 2009-12-15,...
5 tags
4 tags
Formatting: It's Not Just For Hard Drives, People.
! DON’T. GET “LATE¡” TO YOU’ R JOB*¡ (126edokota *B TWING..PALM&DAKOTA))
Date: 2009-12-28, 1:53PM PST Reply to: XXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
IF YOU” R” LATE „ DON’T WORRY¡BECAUSE HEAR I’M YOUR SUPER **CLEAN HOUSE**YOU JUST CALL ME AND ALLB. THERE”…: AND ABOUT.. THE,” PRICE”** DON’T WORRY**YOU PUT...
8 tags
2 tags
Vasectomy: $400. Speechless look on her face:...
foamylove:
“I’ll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:
I got a vasectomy.
I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.
I did NOT tell her about my...
4 tags
I'm Sorry, Dude.
I spent all of my life trying to grow me a chin. - m4w - 18
Date: 2009-12-04, 12:20AM MST Reply To This Post
I’m horny and lonely and I wish I was dead.
6 tags
First World Problems Vol. 1
why there is no close parking at Walmart (HWY 69 prescott)
Date: 2009-12-26, 8:40AM MST Reply to: XXXXXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
we went to walmart sat morning to buy a discounted tree for next year, while in the parking lot waiting for the store to open at 6 am, we observed quite a few(not all but enough) walmart employees parking close to the doors and even in the handicapped spaces...
1 tag
Oi! Oi! Oi!
Yate! Shi’kis! (dunno)
Date: 2009-12-07, 3:13PM MST Reply to: XXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
Na’sa! Na’sa! Na’sa!!!
4 tags
Keepin' it Classy at the Blockbuster
To the Merry Couple in the Black Ford Ranger (College Road)
Date: 2009-12-18, 7:14PM AKST Reply To This Post
Really now? Really? This is what your life has come to? Giving/getting head in the front parking lot of Blockbuster at four in the afternoon? I can see it now: five years from today, you, crouched down behind the dumpster at Denny’s, straining a half-empty bottle of Scope through a...
7 tags
FUCK YEAH NORTH POLE POST OFFICE RANT.
IN THE POST OFFICE QUEUE AT 1PM TODAY (THE NORTH POLE POST OFFICE)
Date: 2009-12-14, 11:03PM AKST Reply To This Post
YOU ARE A BORING FUCKING BITCH. THERE WE ALL WERE, HUNDREDS OF US IN THE QUEUE AT THE NORTH POLE POST OFFICE, AND IT’S 1PM AND YOU’RE IN THE QUEUE DRONING ON AND FUCKING ON AND ON AND ON AND ON ABOUT YOUR KID WHO’S “ALLERGIC TO MAGNETS” - DO YOU THINK...
5 tags
Walmart Stocking: A Two Part Ad.
THE ORIGINAL AD:
night stocker at walmart - 30 (Fairbanks)
Date: 2009-12-12, 11:11PM AKST
Reply To This Post
I saw you last night and just had to talk to you. so i waited in the employee parking until you came out to your car. i wanted to talk to you, but chickened out. i ended up following you home… i think your married, because of the woman you were talking to in your house. I still...
5 tags
I Heart This Missed Connection.
We met at the landfill - m4w - 50
Date: 2009-12-22, 8:46AM AKST Reply To This Post
You ended up parking next to me at the dump yesterday. I immediately noticed your lovely weave. I am not sure that I would have chosen the orange tights under the purple dress, but it seemed to work for you. You looked over and saw me disposing of a slew of mannequin parts. You made a charming joke about me and...
4 tags
This guy is bitter that no one sends him pictures...
I want, I want, I want, and by the way, send a picture - 99 (Alaska)
Date: 2009-12-26, 11:53PM AKST Reply To This Post
Listen up ladies! Almost all of your ads can be condensed down into that same title. He must have blah blah blah, must be like this this and this, and must send a picture. My advice to guys- ignore these women! They are ‘shopping’ but not even remotely serious! Some...
3 tags
Um... oof.
Should I live or not. - m4w - 39 (Alpenhorn Ave)
Date: 2009-12-29, 12:40AM AKST Reply To This Post
First of let me say this is a cry for help. I don’t want to do what i’m about to do. I want help. Idk why but please be a lady and over 30. I know you younger people might have a good idea or two but I would like to talk to someone who has been through life alittle. I’m at the end...
6 tags
Uh...thanks for the... warning...?
Wormwood in the sky’s of Alaska… (Bright red glowing star in the sky)
Date: 2009-12-24, 12:25AM AKST Reply to: XXXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
Are you worried??? Wormwood is here amongst our stars. You can see it without binoculars or a telescope. It’s the bright red, non-flickering star in the sky tonight and on any other night that you have a clear sky to watch it at....
5 tags
THANKS FOR THE LOVELY POETRY VOL.5: hot chick...
This is the way I look at it
Date: 2009-12-18, 9:28AM AKST Reply to: XXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
The way I look at it it’s not enough of the right stuff {People look for the bright side when there eyes are closed} People don’t play shitty music, the shitty music just flows through the artists It is from a different place {a better place} There is no better place to be,...
6 tags
Lifesaving Advice.
PINE NUTS ! Don’t eat the ones from Asia (Eagle River/Alaska)
Date: 2009-12-27, 2:04PM AKST Reply to:XXXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
We ate dinner at Pizza Man in Eagle River. Attempted to email and phone them to warn them about their pine nuts, but couldn’t get ahold of them. PINE NUTS purchased from China in particular or Korea, Vietnam, or Russia can leave a...
6 tags
Being Called Out for the Lord's Work. A Two Part...
FIRST PART… THE ORIGINAL POST:
CHURCH NEEDS A CAR
Date: 2009-12-27, 3:12PM AKST Reply to: XXXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?] LOCAL CHURCH NEEDS A CAR FOR THE LORD’S WORK CALL MIKE ——— or ROBERT ————- AND NOW, THE RESPONSE:
Church guys are frauds (Church needs a car)
Date: 2009-12-27, 7:12PM AKST Reply to: XXXX [Errors when replying to...
2 tags
BEST MISSPELLING EVER. Spot it.
Looking for ways… (Anchorage)
Date: 2009-12-28, 2:10PM AKST Reply to: XXXXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
to make a lot of extra money. Please, any ligitamet ideas? I do have a full time job already but I need a lot of extra cash NOW.
3 tags
I would love to see the responses this ad got.
Help needed from previous Miss Alaskas (Anchorage)
Date: 2009-12-06, 5:45PM AKST Reply to: XXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
Hello,my friend is trying to become 2010 Miss Teen Alaska or Miss Alaska and we just trying to find as much info and help as possible.Is there anyone in Alaska who had experience before being Miss Alaska or a parent of one and can help us? Any help would be greatly...
6 tags
Getting All Existential On This Shit.
Finding the Others (Anchorage)
Date: 2009-12-22, 10:01PM AKST Reply to: XXXXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
Do you know who Terrence McKenna is, Alan Watts? Aldus Huxley? Do you think there is more to the existence than what science can prove? Do you think “absence of proof is not proof of absence?” I am interested in exploring consciousness, I am not looking to do recreational...
3 tags
Feeling... angered... >:(
Ask me LoUiSe! (oUR eaRth!)
Date: 2009-12-08, 8:00PM EST Reply to: XXXXXX [Errors when replying to ads?]
U have a question??? About anything??? You’re feeling down :->( Feeling alone :( If you have a question?? Or, simply need to talk to a trUe frIend, just talk to Me, it’s free. And I’ll do all I can for YoU! I will not accept any foul, offensive, abnoxious language or...
4 tags
Some Freaky Friday Shit Right Here.
SEEKING A THICK CURVY WOMAN TO SWITCH PLACES WITH MY WIFE - m4w (BECOME HER, YOU WILL LOVE IT)
Date: 2009-12-27, 12:38PM EST Reply To This Post
Im looking for a loving, caring, single female who would love the idea of switching places with another woman. Become her, assume her place, practice her voice and answer her phone to her friends. We could go out on a saturday night as husband and wife...
4 tags
5 tags
HOLY FUCKING HELL.
@@@SEEKING LADY OF THE PACIFIC RIM@@@ - 58 (WESTERN WASHINGTON)
Date: 2009-12-28, 8:26AM PST Reply To This Post
ARE YOU A SOPHISTICATED LADY WHO ENJOYS WALKS IN THE RAIN, NIGHTS OUT WITH CHAMPAGNE, BIKE RIDES AND VISITS TO THE GYM, SHOPPING BUT NOT ALWAYS BUYING, SITTING ON THE FRONT PORCH AT NIGHT SOMETIMES DOING NOTHING AND SOMETIMES WITH A BARBECUE, ICED TEA AND FRIENDS, LISTENING TO THE...